Sam's Story {the meeting}

The drive to the hospital took 2 hours, but it felt like an eternity.

We were meeting the birth mom at 4:00 and she was going to sign the papers at 5:00.
Not only were we meeting her for the first time, but she didn't choose us either.
The agency did.
She wanted her son go to a couple that was married.
Since we were the couple that had been waiting the longest and we didn't have any birth mom leads, we were chosen.

God knew this all along...

We met the adoption coordinator in the lobby and right before we walked in the hospital room, she asked us to wait in the hallway so she could go in and talk to her.

When she opened the door to go in, I saw a girlfriend sitting on the couch in the room.
These were my thoughts...

"That friend in there is totally trying to talk her out of the adoption!"
"Has the birth mom changed her mind?"
"Will she meet us and think, I don't want these people raising my son!"
"What in the world do we say when we first walk into the room and see her?"

Once again, it felt like we were waiting for an eternity and it was so quiet.
I just wanted to hear laughter.
Why I thought there would be laughter at a time like this...I do not know.

But, there was laughter.

We walked in.
I don't remember what we said, but I handed her flowers and smiled.

Awkward.
So awkward.

Thankfully, the adoption coordinator was really good at filling all of that awkwardness with great questions to help with the conversation.
We learned a little bit about each other over the next 30 minutes or so.

And then we heard the words, "Do you want them to meet the baby now?"
She said yes and the baby was wheeled into the room.

More awkwardness.

How do you respond to seeing the baby who could possibly be your child in front of the woman who gave him life?
I didn't want to get crazy emotional over the baby, but I did want the birth mom to see our excitement over her precious baby.
I was too nervous to cry any way.

  

She later signed the papers and was leaving that evening to go home.
She wanted to see us again, so we went back to her room.
She was standing in front of the window holding him.
The way she was looking at Sam was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen.
I hope I don't ever forget the look on her face.

Then she walked over to me and placed him in my arms.
I hugged her and said, "thank you."
That's when the tears started for all of us.
She gathered her things and as she was walking out the door, I said, "I love you and I don't really even know you."
She looked at me, smiled and walked out the door.