His Boys

My boys.

I love saying those words.  I love the picture in my head and the warmth in my heart when I say those words.  

I am your mama.

And sometimes I still can't believe it.

It's perfectly clear that we don't share the same DNA, but you are so much a part of me.  I know what you're going to say before you say it.  I know what ticks you off.  I know what makes you happier than a pig in mud.  I know you.  

But listen, sweet boys.  You know how I tell you that I love you more than all of the snowflakes that have ever fallen from the sky?  God loves you even more that!

That's hard for me to comprehend, but it's true.  And actually, I'm glad He loves you more than me because there are so many times that I mess up.  I can't love you perfectly and never will, but he can and always will.

I don't know what your questions will be as you start processing your adoption stories, but whatever they are, I want you to remember God's love for you and cling to His promises.

 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.  Psalm 86:15

"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being."  Revelation 4:11

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:9 

Even though you are my boys, you are really His.

Don't ever forget that.

The Weary World Rejoices

For the past 6 weeks, at least one person in our house has been sick.  Last weekend, our house got a new round of crud that brought more coughing, aches, fevers and I-want-to-stay-in-bed-and-do-nothing tiredness.  Tonight, Christmas Eve, Sammy is the most recent "winner" of the fever prize.

I'm tired.

This sickness stuff is for the birds.  I find myself feeling so sad that our family's Christmas memory making has been few and far between.

Christmas crafts...nope.
Downtown Christmas lights...nope.
Advent reading every night...nope.
Christmas Eve Service...nope.
Hosting Christmas dinner with both sets of grandparents...nope.

We managed to make my in-laws sick, not knowing that it was more than a cold...and my parents don't want to get sick, so they're staying away too.  I don't blame them.

I'm tired.

Yesterday morning, when my husband woke me up letting me know that he had won the fever lottery, I decided to stop ignoring the day set before me and get up.  I coughed myself downstairs and opened my Bible.  Before I began to read, I was still.  Now, I'm not sure if I was being still before God, or if I was so tired that I wasn't able to function.  Either way, these words popped into my head.

The weary world rejoices.

I'm weary.

Before I go on, I just want you to know that I know that fevers are not the end of the world.  There are so many other things that are a million times worse than cold sweats and runny noses.  I get that.  

I wish I could say that ever since those words popped into my head, I have had a happy disposition and a new attitude.  Not the case, but God keeps using my sin-filled moments to remind me that even though I'm weary, I still have a reason to rejoice.  Actually, those sin-filled moments are the very reason that I should rejoice.

Christmas isn't about what I so many times try to make Christmas about.

There will be no homemade cinnamon rolls Christmas morning...

"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save  his people from their sin."  Matthew 1:21

...but I still have a reason to rejoice.

No steaks on the grill for Christmas dinner.  We will be dining on a pre-made pizza from Sam's Club...

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel - which means, God with us."  Matthew 1:23

...but I still have a reason to rejoice.

I ran out of wrapping paper and two of Wes' presents aren't wrapped...

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14

...but I still have a reason to rejoice.

Sammy may still be sick, I may still have a hacking cough and Max may wake up sick (please, no)...

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17

...but I still have a reason to rejoice.

My weariness and our lack of Christmas-y-ness seem pretty trivial compared to the magnitude of the truth in those verses, but I love how God can use even the smallest things to shift our perspective back to Him.

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4

Thankful {BSF}

When we got home from Bible Study Fellowship yesterday, I asked Max what he learned.

He held out his hands like a book and said this...

Max reading the creation story.

I almost cried.
It's such a blessing to hear truth about God and His Word come out of my 2 year old's mouth.

Today, when I asked him what he learned at BSF he said, "The Word of God is God!"  Still true, but I think he's getting a little confused...

I'm so thankful for BSF and all of the servant work that goes into making it an effective and meaningful bible study.
I'm thankful that Wes is able to go to the men's class, so that our family can study Genesis together.
And I'm thankful for grace and patience from God when I choose other things {mainly sleep} instead of getting into His Word.

I'm excited to see how God continues to transform our hearts this year!

Linking up with my friend, Carina.

Oh!!! One more thing!
 I am so thankful for all of you lovely people who have encouraged us with encouraging words and truth about who God is as we continue on our adoption journey.
Your words have been such a blessing to me.

Gladness in my Sadness

I've left all you lovely people out of the adoption loop for the past month.
Partly because some of the information that allows the story to make sense isn't my story to tell.
But also because the reality of our adoption journey thus far is sometimes a little difficult to put into words.

I first told you about K, the birth mom we had been matched with, back in June.
Then, the birth father came into the picture.
Then, K began to say things to us that made us think she was probably going to keep her baby.
We found out that this was her final decision 3 weeks ago.

K and I have built a friendship over the past couple of months and I told her to keep me posted with any baby news.

I got a text Tuesday morning that she was in labor and that night she had her baby...not our baby.

Tuesday was a hard day for me.

But God took care of me as he always does.
He brought this verse to my mind.

This is the day the Lord has made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

Every time sadness, worry or fear crept in to my mind, Max and I would sing this song.  

We sang it a lot on Tuesday.

I kept thinking...

If we were at the hospital meeting our new son that day, I would be rejoicing.  

I would be glad.

That's easy.

God reminded me that even in my sadness, I can be glad.
I can be glad because of all of the blessings He has given me.  I have an amazing husband, a precious boy, great family and friends, a house, clothes, freedom and on and on and on.

But more than anything else, I can be glad because I have a relationship with Jesus.
I get to have a relationship with Jesus.
I felt His presence all day and Him saying to me, "I know this is hard, Abby, but this is so, so good for you.  Trust me."

So, in the midst of my sadness, I'm choosing gladness.

May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you.

Psalm 70:4

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;

let them ever sing for joy.

Psalm 5:11

Surely this is our God;

we trusted in him, and he saved us.

This is the Lord, we trusted in him;

let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.

Isaiah 25:9

May you be glad in whatever circumstance God has you in today.

Thankful {Good Things}

I should be mopping the floor...or going through my paper piles...or folding laundry, but instead I'm going to take a moment to be thankful.

God has given me so many good things.
Some are big things and some are little things, but each one is a huge blessing.
For that I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for God's Word.  
I'm beginning to crave it, which is a big deal for me.
So many times, I have read the Bible out of obligation...knowing it's what I should do.
God is so amazing that even in those times when I was reading His Word out of obligation, He still blessed me and brought me encouragement.

This adoption situation is one of the reasons that I'm craving time with God.
I need Him.
I can't imagine going through this process without Him.
He is the reason I have peace about the outcome...regardless of what happens.

I'm so thankful for the relationship we have made with the birth mom.  
Most likely, she won't be the birth mom of our baby.
Most likely, she will be a mom.
We are still praying for the birth father's heart to change, but we know that God's ways are best.
I have grown to love her and will continue to pray for her and that precious baby boy.

I'm thankful for happy errand running and Wes coming home on his lunch break.

I'm thankful for a mini-vacation to see my sister's family in Grand Rapids.  
Don't fret, Mom and Betsy.  Pictures will be coming in a later post.

 I'm thankful for family date night.

I'm thankful for the rain.

I'm thankful for a play date with a new friend.  I'm also thankful that Max didn't completely tear apart her house.
And I'm thankful for all of you lovely readers who have encouraged me and followed along on our journey.

"Praise the Lord, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name...

who satisfies your desires with good things."

My Portion

Things have been a little rocky on the adoption front the past couple of days...basically, the adoption is up in the air.  

This isn't the place to go into all of the details, but would you please continue to pray for the birth mom and birth father?  

You can pray for us too while you're at it.  

I've been an emotional mess...although today has been much better.  Adoption can do that to you.  I think I cried four times before we had finished eating breakfast yesterday morning.  

Despite all of the unknowns, I know that God is working...

I'm reading through the Bible and I have fallen behind a couple of days.  God knew that would happen and He knew I needed to read this yesterday.

He is ALL I need.  

Regardless of the outcome, I can wait for Him because He is trustworthy, faithful and his loving kindness will never, never fail me.  

His Word also keeps telling me that His purposes are for my good.  

I'm so thankful that Abby encouraged me to do this reading plan with her because it has been just what I have needed to keep my focus on The One who has EVERYTHING under control.  

She's a good friend like that.

Linking up with Carina.  She's got some giveaways coming up.  You should definitely head on over to check it out!

Thankful {adoption update}

Today, I am thankful that God has everything...and I mean everything...under control.

Including our second adoption journey.

I promised I would give you an update...

Remember how I asked you to pray for the birth mom and baby that we were matched with?  Well, thanks for praying for her and her baby, but we are no longer matched with her.

I believe with all of my heart that there was a reason God brought her into our life.  If it was simply for us to lift her up in prayer, I hope she felt comforted and at peace.

Like I said before, she is part of the journey to the child God has for us.

While this situation was falling through, we were told of another birthmom {K} who was interested in us.  She had narrowed it down to us and another couple {That we know!  How crazy is that?!?!}  They were blessed with a sweet bundle of joy a little over a month ago, which left us to be her choice.

Now you have a new birthmom and baby that I would love for you to start praying for.

She's due September 16 and she's having a boy.  If this is the child God has for us, we will be super excited to give Max a little brother!

We met K and her mom on May 17.  She was nervous.  We were nervous.

Despite all of the nerves, it went really well.  She's a sweet girl and we're looking forward to getting to know her better over the next couple of months.

I find myself letting my mind wander to worst case scenarios and worry sets in {a sin I struggle with way too often}.  I'm so thankful for Wes and his reminders that if this would fall through, we can trust God and his plan for our family.

Buy this print here

So, today I am thankful for this journey that will lead us to our child and draw me closer to my God.

Linking up with one of my favorite girls, Carina.

Thankful {grace}

The other day, we went to story time at the library.  We were so excited to go.  We hadn't been in over a month.

Look at the excitement...

Five minutes into story time, we had to leave because Mr. Maxwell tested his limits.  

Look at the disappointment... 

Disciplining your children is hard work.  I don't like it, but I know it's necessary.

I'm so thankful for God's word that guides us as we make even the littlest parenting decisions.  Do any of us really know what we're doing when it comes to parenting?

Unfortunately, there are many times when I try to do parenting in my own strength.  That's when it really gets messy.

Despite all of my messiness and all of Max's messiness, God's grace will always be enough.  How can I not be thankful for that?

Buy this print here

We'll try story time again and hopefully Max will remember that one horrible ride home.

Linking up with Emily and Carina.

Mother's Day {Torn}

My heart was torn this Mother's Day...

A big part of my heart was filled with thankfulness and love for my mom and what she means to me.  {Bummed I didn't get a picture with her.}

And then, of course, I am so thankful and blessed that God chose me to be Max's mom...

But there was another part of my heart today that was burdened for all of the "I-want-to-be-a-mom-but-I'm-not" women out there.  Some of them I know personally, and many I have never met.  I haven't forgotten what it feels like to be a wanna-be mom on Mother's Day.

So, I prayed for you today...whoever you are.

This is what I want you to know...

Being infertile is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  It's one of the major circumstances in my life that tested my faith and my trust in God.  Up until that point, my life had pretty much gone according to my plans.

Born into a loving family who taught me about the love of Jesus

Blessed with lots of great friends

Graduated from college

Met the love of my life

Got a teaching job right out of college

Married the love of my life

Unsuccessfully trying to have children for 5 years, not part of my plan.  But infertility allowed me to be Max's mom and I wouldn't trade him for any pregnancy in the world.

More than anything, I want you to remember that God is in control.  He knows your heart and your desire to be a mom and he wants you to trust Him.

If you are a wanna-be mom, I would be honored if you would email me so that I can pray for you specifically.

October Baby? {Adoption Update}

Since our homestudy was completed, there hasn't been much to update you on about our adoption.

Until now.

We have been chosen by a birthmom.

But let me tell you the entire story because it's one more example of God's faithfulness.

We got a call a couple of weeks ago that we had been chosen by two birthmoms.  The adoption coordinator that talked to me only had info about birthmom #1.  We would find out about birthmom #2 later from another adoption coordinator.

This is what we were told...

Birthmom #1 is due Oct. 1.

Birthmom #2 is due this summer.

Birthmom #1 knows that we may go with Birthmom #2 and has some backups just in case.

Wes and I were obviously excited that something was happening with this adoption process, but we didn't like the possibility of having to choose between the two birthmoms.  While I know the answer is, "God has it all under control."  It's still a bit overwhelming to think about having to make that decision.

Our prayer was that God would make it obvious and close one of the doors.

Practically speaking, if we had to choose, we would probably choose Birthmom #2 simply because she is due sooner.  Who wants to wait, right?  If that adoption fell through, we would be able to go with birthmom #1.

God chose for us.

Birthmom #1 had a doctor's appointment and found out she is due August 31.

Not October 1.

Her due date is too close to birthmom #2 for us to be able to work with both of them.

So the agency asked us if we would be willing to stick with birthmom #1.

We said yes.

Thank you God for answering our prayer.

A possible October baby {by the way, have you seen the movie?} has turned into a possible August baby.

We've been through this process before to know that nothing in our adoption journey is guaranteed.  So, I'm telling you this, not because I'm 100% confident that it's going to happen, but because it's part of our journey to the child God has for us...

...and so you can pray for us.

Pray for the birthmom too and that sweet little baby.

Made with Love {by grace.}

Many people think that humanity is good...that we are fine just the way we are...like this frame.

 

ikea 

But actually, we're pretty useless on our own.  We have no purpose...and we just take up space collecting dust...like this frame.

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins..."

Ephesians 2:1

But God...

He is the only one that can make something beautiful out of something that someone who was once dead.

He is the only one that can bring purpose to someone's life that is otherwise meaningless without the knowledge and faith that Jesus Christ died for your {and my} sins.

"For we are God's workmanship..."

Ephesians 2:10a

He is the only one that can cut away the cravings of your sinful nature.

And just when you think that you have arrived...that you have this "being a Christ follower thing" down pat...He finds ways to gently {or not so gently} remind you that there is still some work to be done.

More sinful desires and thoughts.

More cutting.

So you follow Him...even though you can't see the big picture...you start to see Him working in your life.

He begins to put things into place.  Maybe not in your time or the way you would have done it.

But when you look back, and see where He has brought you from, you are grateful.  You see what a beautiful thing he is making out of your life.

flower tutorial 

The most amazing part?  

It is all by His grace.  There is nothing you can do to earn your salvation.  You can't go to church enough.  You can't help the poor enough.  You can't be nice to your not-so-nice co-worker enough.  

It's a gift.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast."

Ephesians 2:8-9

My prayer for you today.

That you would..."grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ."

Ephesians 3:18

Linking up with Tatertots & Jello

Thankful {prayer}

Friend:  How was your day today?

Me: It was good.  {I had a doctor's appointment that I was a little nervous about, but didn't feel the need to go into detail.  Many others were around.}

Later...

Friend: The reason why I asked how your day was is because I felt prompted to pray for you this morning.  I'm not sure why.

Me:  Wow, thank you. {Told friend about doctor's appointment - everything is fine by the way.}

I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit's prompting.

I'm thankful that my friend listened to the Holy Spirit's prompting.

I'm thankful for the peace I felt at that doctor's appointment.

And I'm thankful for the blessing I received from her telling me.  

I hope she was blessed too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------You still have a few more days to get your 10-4 good buddy. questions in!  I would love for you to join me. 

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone in blog-land!  I keep wanting to sing, "Christ the Lord is risen today! Ha-a-a-a-a-a-le-lu-uu-ia!"  Totally an Easter song.  But I guess we can't have Easter without Christmas...

Thank you God for your perfect plan of sending your only Son to come to this earth as baby!  

Timing {Adoption Update}

About 6 weeks ago, we had our homestudy with our adoption agency.  We were told it would be completed in approximately 4-6 weeks, maybe even less since they simply had to update the homestudy from Max's adoption.  

I didn't want to be the person that called every day starting at 4 weeks to see when it was going to be done.  Patiently...kind of...I waited until last Friday {the day after the 6 week mark} to check on our status.  

We found out that our homestudy had been emailed to us for review on the 17th of November to the wrong email address.  

While I was ...kind of... waiting patiently, the case worker was wondering why it was taking so long for us to respond.  

Honest mistake. 

And all part of God's perfect timing.  

I wasn't upset, stressed or frustrated.  I'm not saying that to toot my own horn {goodness, I sound old}.  

I am telling you that because it's all because of Christ working in me and I want to give all of the glory to Him.

Because, yes, normally I would get panicky and my whiny voice would come out as I'm telling Wes all about it.  

source

So, the homestudy situation has been taken care of and we should be active in the next week or so!

Can't wait to see how God works!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of adoption...a post from my 31 Days of Adoption series is being featured over at We Are Grafted In.  Go check the site out.  It's filled with encouragement for anyone who has a heart for adoption.

Love Notes {Trust}

This blessed me today.

I hope it blesses you. 

God can be trusted.  

His ways are perfect.

 Even when they don't make sense.  

He doesn't need any help or advice from me.  

I'm so thankful that I can rest in Him. 

First Song {Free printable}

I love my bed...especially in the morning when I wake up.  Warm, cozy sheets pulled up to my chin, cool air on my face, a comfy bed, and my contour pillow.  

Unfortunately, it appears, more times than not,  that I love my bed more than I love my God.  I was convicted of this last night at my bible study.  I say I love God {and I do}, but my actions don't always show it.  

So many nights, I go to bed intending to get up early and spend time with God.  The alarm goes off and I hit the snooze button...over and over.  

Let's just add another "and over" to show you how much I'm addicted to the snooze button.  

By the time I get up, Max is waking up and I've missed the opportunity to have some quiet time with The One who loves me more than anyone else.

Any good relationship needs to have a plan.  God and I have come up with a pretty good one.  I'm going to create a little prayer corner in our bedroom.  Everything is in the "idea phase" right now, so there aren't any pictures yet.  My corner is going to consist of a prayer bench, maybe a little table, some candles, my devotionals, Bibles, etc.  

Do I need a prayer corner to spend time with God?  Nope.  

Do I like pretty things? Yep.  

So a prayer corner it is...

I know that this prayer corner won't magically cause me to leap out of bed every morning, but I think it will be a great reminder for me to spend some time with Him before I leave our bedroom to start my day.  

God brought this song to my mind...and I love the line that says, "May the first song that I sing be praises to My God and King."

I thought I would take a stab at making a printable for our little corner and I wanted to share it with you too.  I have no idea what the colors will look like printed out because we have no colored ink in our printer.  You can make it up to an 8x10.  Hope it works!  Let me know if you have any issues.  

DOWNLOAD

DOWNLOAD

May the first song that you sing be praises to Your God and King.

Linking up to Tatertots & Jello.

10 for 10

How many times have I gone to Target and bought something that I could have done without?

Too many.

$10 here.  $10 there.

What do I have to show for it?  A wallet?  Some makeup? A shirt I really don't need that's on clearance?

This past Sunday at church, my eyes were opened to some sweet children that could use my money so much more than I need a new shirt.

My church is partnering with New Life Home Trust in Nairobi, Kenya to help change the lives of 10 special needs orphans.  I won't go into all of the details because the video does an amazing job.

Go ahead...I'll give you about 5 minutes to watch it.

Wasn't it worth the 5 minutes?  Did you catch how much needs to be raised to get these 10 children a room of their very own?  $75,000.  $7,500/room - in case you are a little rusty on your math skills.  That's a big number, but not too big for our God.  

So, this is where you come in...

You probably don't go to my church, but I thought you might be interested in being a part of this effort. Money will be collected until the end of 2011.

I want to challenge you to give $10.

There are no iPads, jewelry, or gift cards to be won for a random giver.

Just the satisfaction of knowing that you are doing something for 10 kids over in Kenya.

If you have a blog, would you be so kind as to post this button on the side of your blog so others can hear about it too?  Thanks!

  <center><a href="http://akersoflove.blogspot.com/2011/12/10-for-10.html"><img src="http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h416/alakers/10for10button.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a> </center>

Click here to help change some lives and forgo your trip to Target.  :)

Happy Thanksgiving

Taking a little time today to remember and praise God for all of the blessings He has given me.

source

I hope you are too.

If it's not too late...don't forget to save room for dessert.

Happy Thanksgiving!