Gladness in my Sadness

I've left all you lovely people out of the adoption loop for the past month.
Partly because some of the information that allows the story to make sense isn't my story to tell.
But also because the reality of our adoption journey thus far is sometimes a little difficult to put into words.

I first told you about K, the birth mom we had been matched with, back in June.
Then, the birth father came into the picture.
Then, K began to say things to us that made us think she was probably going to keep her baby.
We found out that this was her final decision 3 weeks ago.

K and I have built a friendship over the past couple of months and I told her to keep me posted with any baby news.

I got a text Tuesday morning that she was in labor and that night she had her baby...not our baby.

Tuesday was a hard day for me.

But God took care of me as he always does.
He brought this verse to my mind.

This is the day the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24

Every time sadness, worry or fear crept in to my mind, Max and I would sing this song.  
We sang it a lot on Tuesday.

I kept thinking...
If we were at the hospital meeting our new son that day, I would be rejoicing.  
I would be glad.
That's easy.

God reminded me that even in my sadness, I can be glad.
I can be glad because of all of the blessings He has given me.  I have an amazing husband, a precious boy, great family and friends, a house, clothes, freedom and on and on and on.

But more than anything else, I can be glad because I have a relationship with Jesus.
I get to have a relationship with Jesus.
I felt His presence all day and Him saying to me, "I know this is hard, Abby, but this is so, so good for you.  Trust me."

So, in the midst of my sadness, I'm choosing gladness.
May all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you.
Psalm 70:4

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Psalm 5:11

Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the Lord, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.
Isaiah 25:9

May you be glad in whatever circumstance God has you in today.



  1. Oh Abby! My heart hurts for you. But, thank you for this post. Life in regards to my parents' health is no good. And I needed this. The hymns I was singing to on Pandora wasn't doing it for me tonight, but this did. I wish I could give you a great, big hug!!!

  2. oh abby, thanks for this reminder. it's so hard, isn't it? but God is good, all the time. love you and you're still in my prayers! (and we get to hang out in a few months!!)

  3. abby, i'm so sorry for the loss of that dream for your family. it's wonderful to see how you are choosing to praise God in the midst of it. just prayed for all of you and that you get to meet your next baby SOON!

  4. I needed those words that Jesus says to you. Thanks for sharing, both your sadness and your gladness.

  5. I have no idea how you are feeling..... :) Maybe at some point we will end up with birthday buddies, that would have been fun:) I can't believe Wes stayed up so late with you playing Skip Bo, you crazy kids. Matt and I had been in bed a long time when we were texting.

  6. Thanks to you for sharing ... and to Jesus for giving you this perspective which blesses so many of us. We are at the very beginning of the adoption journey, but even this week, it's been a wild emotional roller coaster in my own heart. I came across this quote yesterday and it really gave me peace in the midst of turmoil: “The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours.” ― John Piper, Battling Unbelief: Defeating Sin with Superior Pleasure

  7. Oh, sweet friend. I'm sorry but thankful that He is giving you comfort and gladness. Will you please post this on WAGI next Friday - please? This needs to be shared.

  8. I"m sorry you're hurting. Love your attitude. Praying for your heart.

  9. Hi Abby! I'm so glad I found your blog from Kerrie's. I am so sorry for your recent pain and sadness. I can't imagine that feeling and disappointment. My husband and I having been going through fertility treatments for the last year and just found out our recent IVF was resulted in a failed pregnancy. I had just shared about feeling angry about the whole situation but working on glorifying God even though it is hard and we don't understand his plan. We are going to try one more time and then may look into adoption. I will be praying for you guys as you go through this hard journey. You attitude is encouraging. Thank you for sharing your heart!

  10. That is heartbreaking. God is pouring out such grace on you to be able to look UP to Jesus amidst the sorrow. God just recently turned our sorrow into joy but the sorrow part still is with me. That sweet baby will always have a place in your heart even when your forever baby comes. May He strengthen your heart to keep trusting as you wait. So, so, sorry.

  11. My heart is hurting for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your journey... It points to Christ and is beautiful

  12. Abby, I just wanna say , this post brought tears to my eyes! I started folllowing your blog sometime in mid July..... On July 10th at 17.5 weeks I lost a baby... I was heartbroken and scared! I couldnt understand why? But instead of looking for answers and going crazy, I decided to trust the Lord and learn His Word more... Because I lost the baby in second trimester and because it was my second miscarage (I had my daughter in between) the doctors started making sure I'm all healthy... But unfortunately we discovered that I have a polyp , which might have caused the loss.... Well we scheduled surgery to remove it ( it's tomorrow) .... But last week I had a gallbladder attack... And last Friday I had my gallbladder removed.... Your post encouraged me! Because to be honest I'm so tired of having surgeries and losing a baby.... You gave me a good reminder, how blessed I am! I have an amazing husband, a beautiful daughter , and my list goes on and on.... I just need to wait a little more and God will give me joy! I pray that you find joy! That soon you will be holding another beautiful
    Baby in your arms! God bless you!



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...